Experiences, Thoughts, and Feelings of a Latter Day Saint (LDS)

And the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them. Moses 7:18.

This is a fairly straight forward scripture except for the phrase, “there was no poor among them.” This could have multiple meanings. This morning Pres. Adamson shared the thought that what the Lord may be implying is that none of his children in Zion were poor in ordinances. All of his children had received all of the saving ordinances. What a great definition of Zion.

My last thought as I pulled back the covers and flattened myself into the mattress in hope of some respite was that I couldn’t see any other option but, the reality was that I couldn’t. I would have to call Sam and cancel the meeting the next morning. I just felt too sick. Every part of me ached and my head felt like a cannonball ready to explode with sinus pressure.

I had promised the CEO on Monday that I would have a completed book-launch-marketing-plan and budget numbers for him by Friday at the executive retreat. In my state of disrepair I couldn’t imagine a way to keep this promise. I could barely keep a coherent thought with all the pounding in my head. I didn’t see a way to keep it together long enough to complete a full marketing plan. A hot bath earlier in the day helped with the aches but the decongestant I took had little affect on the intense pain around my eyes. I usually don’t get sick but when I do it is sinus infection and it puts me out for several days. I resigned myself to the fever and sickness and let it overtake my resolve as I lay in the dark bedroom.

Then the realization that I wouldn’t be keeping my commitment started to sink in. And when I say sink, I mean SINK. The overwhelming feeling of despair was becoming more painful than the illness. I just had to get this plan done. I had to figure out the budget numbers. I had to keep the meeting tomorrow. I had to spend hours completing the details. And yet, there was no way possible to accomplish the task in my current condition. And then it struck me – I knew someone that could.

I slid back out of bed and knelt in the same position I had occupied minutes before. This time instead of a rushed conversation spoken out of duty, I said a simple yet pure prayer asking for His help to heal me and to take this overwhelming feeling from me. I knew that the only way to alleviate the pain both physically and the emotionally was with His help.

I climbed back into bed with the pounding still in my head but the pit in my stomach removed. Around 3:00 a.m. I was sweating like a piece of bacon on a hot griddle. My fever had worsened and the sweat was pouring off of me – and then – my fever broke. It felt as if the illness was draining from me, starting at the top of my head, washing down my body, out my feet and off the edge of the bed. The following hours I slept so deep and relaxed that it made up completely for the previous unrest. The next morning I felt fantastic and made it to the office on time for the meeting.

I know that Heavenly Father heard my prayer and I know that He answered it. I know that without Him I would have been sick in bed for another several days. I know that He cares for me and all of His children.

Fast Sunday brought some great testimonies from or ward. The spirit was strong. One brother, from Tonga described God like this. He is the Big boss, and if you love him, He’s got your back.

Tonight, I am watching my son Isaac play soccer. He is such cute kid with an amazing heart. Every game he hopes to fill the star position – goalie. The coach has his favorite four that he rotates into the position each game. Today was different.

Today the coach breaks from tradition by sending Isaac in to replace the keeper. Isaac’s excitement is contagious as he pulls the special jersey over his head and the padded gloves onto each hand. He gets into position with his arms spread wide and a slight bounce in his legs. The ref blows the whistle and the red team progresses the ball down the field. Isaac defends against a well placed kick from a scrappy little guy with a quick step. Isaac takes the ball runs to the edge of the goal box and kicks the ball back out to mid field where, unfortunately, the red team again takes control of the ball. Once more, Isaac successfully blocks the ball from going in the goal. He takes the ball and boots it again but this time it doesn’t make it to mid field but instead veers off of Isaac’s foot to a group of red uniforms about ten yards from the goal box. All converge on the ball while Isaac realizes the situation. He advances to the ball just as a red cleat lifts the ball into a gentle arc two feet above the head of the Green Tornadoe’s newest goalie. A backward leap is not enough to stop the ball from dribbling across the white line.

The game is now tied 1-1. Thus ends Isaac’s three and a half minutes in the most coveted position on the team. Isaac is quickly replaced by Shane. The look of disappointment is as real as the prior excitement. He pulls the gloves back off and with much chagrin transfers them to the new goalie.

The coach yells for Isaac to go to the “Forward” position. He runs to his new assignment. Although I know his discouragement, he seems to embrace the new challenge with determination. I am feeling more disappointment than I’m sure he is. I love this little guy so much I want nothing but the best for him.

The whistle blows again but this time it is our turn to take the ball out. Isaac pulls out to the outside while the ball jostles between his team mates. There it is — the perfect pass. Right to my little buddy. He is past the first defender. The rest of the red team is converging. I don’t know how but he makes it through. He kicks and…………………………………he scores. His first goal of the season.

What a blessing that he didn’t get another chance at what he thought he wanted – being goalie. How often does God put us in the right place rather than in the place we thought we should be?

How often do we think we know what is best for us only to have God put us where we are supposed to be?

In the October 2010 conference Elder Neil L. Andersen
gave a talk called Never Leave Him. The talk focuses on overcoming offense and shame. I was particularly struck by the truth of the following words:

Offense comes in many costumes and continually finds its way onstage. People we believe in disappoint us. We have unanticipated difficulties. Our life doesn’t turn out exactly the way we were expecting. We make mistakes, feel unworthy, and worry about being forgiven. We wonder about a doctrinal issue. We learn of something spoken from a Church pulpit 150 years ago that bothers us. Our children are treated unfairly. We are ignored or underappreciated. It could be a hundred things, each very real to us at the time.

In our weakened moments, the adversary seeks to steal our spiritual promises. If we are not watchful, our injured, childlike spirit will retreat back into the cold, dark crust of our former bloated ego, leaving behind the warm, healing light of the Savior.

Elder Andersen also shares how to overcome this:

How do we remain true to the Savior, His gospel, and the ordinances of His priesthood? How do we develop the faith and strength to never leave Him?
Jesus said, “Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.”